You're stuck in a miserable mood, depressed, or reliving some moment over and over...fix it!
Its’ so easy to get stuck in what I like to call a “negative loop”. Once you’re “in the loop” it kind of sweeps you away and happiness begins to fade. In no time it can seem as though there is not a clear way out. Oh you want out, but when you think of how to really get out you realize you do not know where to begin!
If you’re looking for easy to understand, actionable tips on how to overcome most prolonged bad moods, unhappiness and reliving the past, I hope I can help you even a little bit. You’ll need to understand some basics of the mind and how it works.
Do you have an understanding of the mind and how it works in relation to how you feel?
Most people never really think about the mind and how it works concerning their emotions and how they feel inside. Because of this, when they find themselves depressed and unhappy, they fall prey to the constant media and advertising that tells them “you’re is deep trouble, you need help!” They think something is wrong with them and that they need a psychiatrist and pharmaceuticals in order to feel good again.
A very small percentile may actually need professional help, but I personally believe the VAST majority do not.
You probably don't need a psychiatrist or prescription
I’m no doctor, so you can take what I say as such but, I’ve done a lot of reading on this subject in the past and I have specifically studied how the mind works concerning the way you feel at length. By “how you feel” I mean happy, sad, depressed, angry, etc.
Thoughts rule and are like snowballs!
YOUR “FEELINGS” ARE RULED BY YOUR THOUGHTS. Here is the crazy truth, the mind is simple. It’s really not that complicated. Your “mood”, “happiness”, “depression”, truly “how you feel” is determined by your THOUGHTS!
What thoughts? Not all. Just the ones you dwell on and devote emotion to.
Something that most people don’t know is that thoughts come to us all in two ways. While you can choose thoughts, you will also just spontaneously “have” or “get” thoughts as well.
This explains the occasional bizarre or weird thought you might get and then ponder “Why did I think that??? Oh no, what is wrong with me?” All perfectly normal. Some thoughts just arrive. Some are really out there and nothing you would have decided to think.
When you first have a thought, it has very little power in your life to sway your feelings. The more emotion you attach to it and the more you dwell on it the more power it has in your life. YOU give it the power it will have by attaching emotion to the thought and by choosing to hold it in your mind for a prolonged period of time.
Obviously you can choose to think a positive thought, or a negative thought. Thoughts also have a “snowball effect”. A really emotional positive thought held firmly for a LONG TIME will have you feeling great in short order while an emotional negative thought held can ruin your mood in an instant.
Have you "chosen wisely?"
You can choose your thoughts! Even if you get an occasional unwanted thought, you can choose to dwell on it or move on to the next thought. This means that you are in control.
This is both great and a heavy burden at the same time. Great in that you now realize you do have control. It’s what you’ve been looking for all along! Heavy in that you DO really HAVE IT and have all along. Yes, that means if you’ve been angry for years, depressed, reliving the past etc, you not only allowed it, you DID IT TO YOURSELF.
That is right! Whatever past thoughts you’ve gotten emotional about and dwelled on have ruled your feelings in proportion to how emotional you were about them and how long you kept them on your mind and at what intenstity. They have caused you to feel the way you do. You thought it just happened. Now you know.
Your mind is just like a muscle, are you buff or puny?
Lets compare your ability to control your mind to a scenario like exercise, because it’s just like that. When I said you can control what you think about I meant it. You can. Now here’s the deal, you might not be able to muster enough control to make a lasting difference in the beginning. With a bit of work on yourself, you will soon be able to master your thoughts and IT WILL BE WORTH IT.
It’s just like let’s say a bicep curl. Lets compare choosing your thoughts to doing a bicep curl. Say that a 1 pound curl does change your thought for a few seconds and a 25 pounds curl is the equivalent of thought mastery. Nearly anyone can do a 1 pound bicep curl, but what about a 25 pound curl? Let’s be honest, some people can just walk right up with no prior effort and do a perfect curl with 25 pounds (these are the “naturally in a good mood people”) while other people would have to work for quite a while to get there (the rest of us lol).
Now every person has a certain mental “set point” within their mind that is the point at which they can exercise control over their own thoughts. Lets make up a “set point” within a person, “Joe” and compare it to a 25 pound curl where 25 pounds equals “mastery”. Lets imagine Joe can just barely curl 20 pounds when he first begins to try. There is no way 25 is happening at the beginning.
In this comparison Joe can change his thoughts with the lesser lift, but he is short of having mastered his thoughts. If Joe is made to understand that he is able at this moment to change his thoughts enough to make a real difference, and with some practice he is quite close to full control then he will be motivated to work at it. With continued effort he will soon be one of the happy ones able to choose at will his own thoughts and thus how he feels!
Your thoughts are drug dealers to you
Bob Proctor taught me that thoughts are things. Not insignificant things either. They are very important. Thoughts fuel themselves and snowball. Ever really strongly think or remember something very upsetting or terrible? Maybe a time when something very dangerous occurred?
If so, you probably remember the way your body responded. Thoughts cause our bodies to release chemicals (call it drugs). These same chemicals reinforce the very thought that causes them to be released into your body. Your thoughts feed upon themselves.
Get or think a negative thought, then don’t purposely replace it with a good thought? Now chemicals flow through your body solidifying the negative thought, reinforcing it, making it more permanent, bigger, harder to get out.
Sadly, this phenomenon seems to work much better with negative thoughts than positive. When was the last time you remembered something positive and were overcome with a physical reaction like that racing heart and sweating you had with the negative thought? It sucks but this just works better on negative thoughts. It’s true.
With those fact in mind you can see how you must immediately get to work changing your thoughts to peaceful positive ones. You must work at it continuously until you master it. It is too crucial to how you feel to leave to chance.
How to go about mastering your thoughts and thus how you feel
Now I leave you with actionable advice to change the way you feel. To be happy. Today, right now, this second, begin to purposefully choose your thoughts. It sounds too simple to be the cure but that’s it. Slow down, notice your thoughts. If they are negative, then YOU choose to replace them with positive thoughts.
Every time you notice yourself with a negative thought in your mind, you change it to something positive.
You might start off with the equivalent of a 1 pound curl but it’s a start. Resolve to keep at it. It is worth your effort to directly improve YOU, how YOU feel. Think about it, what are you willing do for your boss, your spouse, your child, your friend?
Do this for yourself and you’ll be helping everyone on the list above. When you go from negative to positive thoughts the change doesn’t stop with you. Everyone around you benefits. Believe me. You don’t know the difference it will make on every level of your life.
I suggest that every morning you make a list from 1 to 10 on a piece of paper and you sit down for 5-10 minutes and you write out ten things you are REALLY grateful for. Really think don’t just “fill in the blanks”. Do this EVERY DAY.
When you find yourself with a negative thought in your mind, pull out that days list and replace the negative thought with one item on your list you’re really grateful for. It will work great! It won’t be you just telling yourself you need to get a positive thought, it will in fact be something you yourself acknowledge you are grateful for….It’ll stop the negative thought in it’s tracks.
Don’t be discouraged AT ALL if you realize the negative thought (or another one) is in there again a short time later. The fact that it is back or a new negative thought is in there now means that a positive one you put there WAS in there. That’s proof that you’re making a difference. More time with positive thoughts in there means less time doped up on stress hormones. The chain is being broken and you are on your way to eventual mastery.
Is it easy? NO but it is so worth it to eventually sense the change within yourself, and to know that YOU are in control and have been all along. You’ve just allowed yourself to get in a cycle of bad thought feeding bad thought. It feels very good to change the direction of this.
Much of what I’ve learned about this subject has come from Bob Proctor, and a book he recommends called “as a man thinketh” by James Allen. Good stuff I recommend highly, however there is no substitute for action in this arena. All the knowledge in the world won’t make one bit of difference once you ‘ve gotten the basics down.
What I’ve laid out here is enough to change your life. You must begin right away. RIGHT NOW.
Your thoughts control how you feel, and you control your thoughts. IT’S TOTALLY UP TO YOU.
Please take action and comment below, let me know if this has helped anyone!
Thanks for reading!